Indiana Jones and The Saucer Men from Mars (Indy #3 of 5)

Genre: Action-Adventure

Premise: This script is even more ridiculous than the Chris Columbus Monkey King script. Opening with Indy proposing to Dr. Elaine McGregor and a wedding scene with cameos from everybody in the series (marion, Willie, Short Round,Henry Jones, Sallah) the script moves towards Indy discovering an alien cylinder and ship in New Mexico. Along the way there are giant bugs, a rocket sledfight (kind of like what will appear in crystal skull), an atomic explosion(which also parallels crystal skull) and a final fight between US military and flying saucers.

About: The script I read is dated February 20, 1995. Allegedly Lucas and Speilberg made a deal with Paramount for five Indie films in the late 70's. As Speilberg went on to make "mature" films, Lucas couldn't come up with a very good device to base on the story around and worked on The Indiana Jones Chronicles. Lucas got the idea for a film about aliens, but Spielberg and Ford both rejected the idea. Soon after the draft I read, Jeffrey Boam (who wrote the Last Crusade) did three drafts of the scripts. By this time it was around 1996, and still over a decade until the next Indy film.

Writers: Jeb Stuart, whose name I'd never heard. Turns out he had writing credits on Die Hard (I thought Desouza was the driving force here?), Leviathan, Another 48 hours, and The Fugitive. There's a shared credit with Lucas, but George's name appears on everything in the film so it's hard to say just how much input he had.

There are two things that this script does, which I absolutely hate. I don't know if you can pin these errors on Jeb Stuart becauase Lucas seems to have made many of the general story points.

A) The Artifact - If we don't care about the fortune Indy makes from his treasures, or the fame he'll gather, and if he really is just collecting items for the good of the cause then why not pick items we've heard about and leave the crystal skull/alien cylinder crap at the door?

Unfortunately, alot of these lost items belong to Christian mythology. But the device should not be something the audience cares very little about. What about Atlantis like in the comics? The Dead Sea Scrolls? Shoot, Excalibur? In Saucer Men, these aliens aren't even explained or set up. They're just creepy and appear randomly at the ends (like in Signs). I mean,if you're going to pick something out of alien history why not specifically use the Roswell crash and model it around this. Using a vague focal item is really ridiculous.

B) Indy's dialogue/personality - It's a bit of a stretch believing Indy would get married. It's an even more improbable stretch that Indy would soften up as a man and start referring to his wife as "baby breath". The Indy in Saucer Men is nowhere near as sullen, sharp, or caustic as the one we know and as a result a lot of the time he doesn't even feel like Indy.

It's true that after Indy meets this woman, he has a wedding scene which reads like Indiana Jones trivia: Henry Jones as best man, Sallah and Short Round as usher, and Willie and Marion as Indy's cheer up team after he gets stood up. And it' a great scene.

The biggest problem is Indy's romance with Dr. McGregor. The script jumps after the couple meets, and attempts to say that six weeks later without much of an idea of who this lady even is that the couple is in love. Right. That's completely ridiculous. And then Indy says he loves her. I mean, seriously, did Indy go soft during World War 2? If so it isn't explained.The real Indiana Jones might tell somebody he loves them, but never as randomly and carelessly as this guy does.
And for those of you who feel like I missed a plot summary, I didn't really. There isn't much going on in terms of globe trotting. Indy is in Borneo and meets Dr. McGregor, Indy almost gets married and stood up at his wedding in Princeton (where apparently he teaches now), Indy goes on a chase for his woman in New Mexico and discovers Dr. McGregor is trying to decode alien cylinders, a dog fight between the US Government and aliens, and then the end where Indy finally gets hitched.

Scooby Doo (Complete Crap)

[X] - Atilla (Poor, Few Redeeming Qualities)
Wedding Crashers (Mediocre)
Hot Rod (Good)

Definitely Maybe (Pretty Darn Good)

Isla Prospects: If Isla ever tires of low grade comedic romances, she'd do well to be a love
interest in adventures. She has that bouncy, world-traveledthing and would serve as a good comedic foil.

What I Learned: For a really long time I struggled with how to write dialogue in such a way that it gave each character a different personality. I was thinking of what the character'd say, how much they'd reveal, and what types of word choices they'd use. While that's in the right vein, a much more helpful way in writing dialogue is to think about what the character wouldn't say. I'd have a much more difficult time telling you exactly how Indiana Jones would speak, but reading Saucer Men I can almost definitely tell you what phrases and nicknames he'd absolutely never use.

Script Link: Google "indiana jones and the flying saucer men script". You'll find something.