Genre: Comic Book Blockbuster
Premise: After his release from prison, the Penguin (who suspiciously doesn’t have the Cobblepot name he does in the comics) teams up with Catwoman to take over Gotham and destroy Batman. Also, Robin makes an appearance towards the end of the second act and Vicki Gale, the love interest from the first film, is still around.
About: This version was promptly dropped and Hamm booted from the project. The Warners brass were particularly unhappy with how Hamm hadn’t given The Penguin an overarching motive. This motive eventually became that because as a baby The Penguin was put down river like Moses, he now vowed to kill all of Gotham’s first born sons.
Writer: Sam Hamm (who started off on one of my favorites Never Cry Wolf before sliding off into Planet of the Apes, Monkeybone, a Watchmen draft, and this crap) took sole screenwriting credit on the first draft. He was soon replace by Daniel Waters (Heathers) who had sole screenwriting credit. Waters in key was then doctored by Wesley Strick (Scorsese’s Cape Fear)
Sam Hamm seems to have made a screenwriting career off of misunderstanding the fictional creations of other people. Never Wolf was a good script, but it’s very different than the original novel. Then Watchmen. Then Planet of the Apes. Now Batman II. Shoot, he doesn’t even give the characters the same names they have in the comics.
Not to mention there aren’t any origin stories. The Penguin and Cat Woman just appear on the scene. Without a further word of explanation. Then they’re developed as these one note characters: The Penguin is obsessed with birds and has none of the weird or creepy elements he had in the eventual Batman Returns film, and Cat Woman is also a sex fiend and walks around spouting pick up lines. It’s all pretty silly. And then Robin is brought in late in the second act. Robin also doesn’t have an origin story. And is said to be Batman’s girlfriend’s nephew. Is this some Robin I never knew of? Also, if you’re bringing in somebody as important to the Batman series as Robin, why in the world would you wait until late in the second act? Not to mention Bruce Wayne is depicted as this festive guy who when we first meet him is in the midst of holiday cheer with his butler and his girlfriend. A total misstep in terms of tone, if you ask me. Bruce Wayne is dark and moody. That’s his whole thing.
You know what else I hate about this thing? Sam Hamm completely makes this ridiculous ending that rips apart a lot of the stuff we hold as guidelines of the Batman universe: the Penguin and Catwoman break into Bruce Wayne’s mansion and attack Bruce and his friends, Bruce’s identity is revealed as Batman, Alfred the Butler is wounded by them, Catwoman tries to slit her own throat with her claws, and Batman has a showdown with the Penguin where Bruce summons hundreds of tiny Bats and unleashes them on the Penguin. Did Sam Hamm ever read the comic? Does he know how many things are just plain weird about that? A) Never real Bruce’s identity, B) Nobody ever goes in the mansion, C) Batman can summon Bats now? How does he do that? I could go on. I won’t.
But, this script reads like it has no point. Like there’s no thrust to it. Without a plan, The Penguin and Catwoman are bad guys without a reason. Without a large plot to stop chaos, Batman is just running around fighting minor crimes. (The whole thing opens with a 10 page scene in which Batman stops and literally wraps up some hoodlums dressed in Christmas garb). And I mean, essentially without widespread chaos and trouble, Batman becomes a generic action movie whose characters happen to be the super heroes we know and love. And is that enough? No, I don’t think so.
And Christmas in this script? Well, the only point Sam Hamm has is that it made sense production wise (they were shooting on the same sets as the first film) and at the end he uses some completely retarded line by Vicki about how they don’t need presents, they have one another and that is more than enough. Really? What is this, the Christmas special of Leave It To Beaver?
You know, originally I was going to review the Production Draft of Batman Returns and give it a mediocre review. But then I read this thing, and now Batman Returns looks like a glowing jewel of the Nile to me.
[X] - Scooby Doo (Complete Crap)
Atilla (Poor, Few Redeeming Qualities)
Wedding Crashers (Mediocre)
Hot Rod (Good)
Definitely Maybe (Pretty Darn Good)
What I Learned: One of my very favorite parts of all comics are origin stories that tell how characters cam to be, how they set up their plans, and how they’re going to go about taking over the world. Without origin stories, it’s like skipping the first act of a tale and then expecting the audience to care about things. Without showing Robin’s parents murdered, the Penguin horribly warped psychologically, or how Catwoman nearly died and started wearing the spandex, Hamm is essentially jumping the gun on the story. And when the script has ballooned out to 129 pages, I don’t exactly think he was pressed for time.
Isla Prospect: She could do Cat Woman? Funny, sexy, seductive. But definitely not this one. Or in Cat Woman. But maybe one day if somebody wrote a decent film about Cat Woman instead of this drivel.
Script Link: The IMSDB has this. Although, I managed to secure an actual PDF which comes complete with a snappy cover that reads Batman II.
Premise: After his release from prison, the Penguin (who suspiciously doesn’t have the Cobblepot name he does in the comics) teams up with Catwoman to take over Gotham and destroy Batman. Also, Robin makes an appearance towards the end of the second act and Vicki Gale, the love interest from the first film, is still around.
About: This version was promptly dropped and Hamm booted from the project. The Warners brass were particularly unhappy with how Hamm hadn’t given The Penguin an overarching motive. This motive eventually became that because as a baby The Penguin was put down river like Moses, he now vowed to kill all of Gotham’s first born sons.
Writer: Sam Hamm (who started off on one of my favorites Never Cry Wolf before sliding off into Planet of the Apes, Monkeybone, a Watchmen draft, and this crap) took sole screenwriting credit on the first draft. He was soon replace by Daniel Waters (Heathers) who had sole screenwriting credit. Waters in key was then doctored by Wesley Strick (Scorsese’s Cape Fear)
Sam Hamm seems to have made a screenwriting career off of misunderstanding the fictional creations of other people. Never Wolf was a good script, but it’s very different than the original novel. Then Watchmen. Then Planet of the Apes. Now Batman II. Shoot, he doesn’t even give the characters the same names they have in the comics.
Not to mention there aren’t any origin stories. The Penguin and Cat Woman just appear on the scene. Without a further word of explanation. Then they’re developed as these one note characters: The Penguin is obsessed with birds and has none of the weird or creepy elements he had in the eventual Batman Returns film, and Cat Woman is also a sex fiend and walks around spouting pick up lines. It’s all pretty silly. And then Robin is brought in late in the second act. Robin also doesn’t have an origin story. And is said to be Batman’s girlfriend’s nephew. Is this some Robin I never knew of? Also, if you’re bringing in somebody as important to the Batman series as Robin, why in the world would you wait until late in the second act? Not to mention Bruce Wayne is depicted as this festive guy who when we first meet him is in the midst of holiday cheer with his butler and his girlfriend. A total misstep in terms of tone, if you ask me. Bruce Wayne is dark and moody. That’s his whole thing.
You know what else I hate about this thing? Sam Hamm completely makes this ridiculous ending that rips apart a lot of the stuff we hold as guidelines of the Batman universe: the Penguin and Catwoman break into Bruce Wayne’s mansion and attack Bruce and his friends, Bruce’s identity is revealed as Batman, Alfred the Butler is wounded by them, Catwoman tries to slit her own throat with her claws, and Batman has a showdown with the Penguin where Bruce summons hundreds of tiny Bats and unleashes them on the Penguin. Did Sam Hamm ever read the comic? Does he know how many things are just plain weird about that? A) Never real Bruce’s identity, B) Nobody ever goes in the mansion, C) Batman can summon Bats now? How does he do that? I could go on. I won’t.
But, this script reads like it has no point. Like there’s no thrust to it. Without a plan, The Penguin and Catwoman are bad guys without a reason. Without a large plot to stop chaos, Batman is just running around fighting minor crimes. (The whole thing opens with a 10 page scene in which Batman stops and literally wraps up some hoodlums dressed in Christmas garb). And I mean, essentially without widespread chaos and trouble, Batman becomes a generic action movie whose characters happen to be the super heroes we know and love. And is that enough? No, I don’t think so.
And Christmas in this script? Well, the only point Sam Hamm has is that it made sense production wise (they were shooting on the same sets as the first film) and at the end he uses some completely retarded line by Vicki about how they don’t need presents, they have one another and that is more than enough. Really? What is this, the Christmas special of Leave It To Beaver?
You know, originally I was going to review the Production Draft of Batman Returns and give it a mediocre review. But then I read this thing, and now Batman Returns looks like a glowing jewel of the Nile to me.
[X] - Scooby Doo (Complete Crap)
Atilla (Poor, Few Redeeming Qualities)
Wedding Crashers (Mediocre)
Hot Rod (Good)
Definitely Maybe (Pretty Darn Good)
What I Learned: One of my very favorite parts of all comics are origin stories that tell how characters cam to be, how they set up their plans, and how they’re going to go about taking over the world. Without origin stories, it’s like skipping the first act of a tale and then expecting the audience to care about things. Without showing Robin’s parents murdered, the Penguin horribly warped psychologically, or how Catwoman nearly died and started wearing the spandex, Hamm is essentially jumping the gun on the story. And when the script has ballooned out to 129 pages, I don’t exactly think he was pressed for time.
Isla Prospect: She could do Cat Woman? Funny, sexy, seductive. But definitely not this one. Or in Cat Woman. But maybe one day if somebody wrote a decent film about Cat Woman instead of this drivel.
Script Link: The IMSDB has this. Although, I managed to secure an actual PDF which comes complete with a snappy cover that reads Batman II.
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