Superman Lives - Kevin Smith (S-Man #5 of 5)

Genre: Action-Comic Book Adaptation-Blockbuster

Premise: Doomsday kills Superman, after Brainiac blocks out the sun to make Superman powerless. Brainiac pairs up with Lex Luthor while elsewhere Superman is brought to life by The Eradicator, a Kryptonian Robot. Brainiac wants to destroy both The Eradicator and Superman. Stripped of his powers, Superman is placed in armor built b y the Eradicator and defeats Braniac.

About: Smith was hired on, from his guess due to his myriad comic book references in his films. He clashed frequently with Producer Jon Peters (Superman was Peters’ pet project) as Peters requested Smith to include fights with giant spiders and polar bears. Soon after Smith completed the script, Tim Burton was hired onto the project. Burton’s first act was to trash Smith’s script and hire on an entirely new team of writers. To this day, Kevin Smith signs copies of this script “F$#@ Tim Burton”. (On a side note, Smith’s casting choices would have been Ben Affleck as Sup, Linda Fiorentino as Lois, Jack Nicholson as Lex, David Hyde Pierce as The Eradicator, Jason Lee as Brainiac)

Writer: Kevin Smith (after Clerks and Mall Rats, Circa chasing Amy’s release)

I’ve been reviewing my favorite scripts of the week on Friday lately. From what I can tell, Smith’s Superman script is what jump started attempts to make the film and ultimately what brought Burton onto the project. And, compared to the drivel I remember seeing in 2006 (which followed Joseph Campbell’s Hero’s Journey so methodically, it was like watching a drunk man crawl along his kitchen floor) it’s a shame that this film didn’t end up being made. Now of course it’s high budget. Very high. And it would’ve needed a lot of money to be done successfully. And, I know there are complaints among the fan boys of cheesiness (and it is true Smith has Superman say “Up, up and away” at one point). But this is to be funny. There’s one brilliant element to this script that none of the others I’ve reviewed capture: Smith’s Superman Lives has depth and interesting characters (which Alex Ford’s laced) and it is still fun and good hearted like a Superman movie (which the script I reviewed yesterday missed).

Superman is stripped of his powers in this script. And unlike when this happens in other films, it doesn’t feel unoriginal or like I’m not watching a Superman film anymore. And the mere trick to that is that Superman remains committed to his goal of defeating Brainiac, and being committed to his goal. Smith also nails Superman’s trial in this correct: it’s not over dual identities, but that rather Superman is almost addicted to altruistic duties and protecting the citizens of Earth. For good or for bad. (Which leads to a cheesy line where Superman points to his head “Not here”, then to his heart “It’s here…one hopes this would have been cut out in a rewrite).

The only flaw that Smith makes is perhaps jumping a little too quickly into the world of Superman. There’s not enough origin related info. And as someone who is coming to the film cold, that’d be immensely appreciate. Why not a short bit on how Brainiac came to be? That’d prevent this script from feeling like we’ve been quickly thrown into Superman’s world. But, Lex Luthor is depicted very well in this. I still don’t like him. But Lex is depicted as the power hungry monger he is, and his fights with Brainiac are great because Lex is revealed as advanced as he possibly could be on Earth but drastically behind the progress of Brainiac. And, the other thing is that Batman also has a cameo in this. But I wasn’t a huge fan of Batman’s speech, and while the mood and atmosphere while filmed could have emphasized the Bat’s tone, I like to think that there would have been better ways to reveal Batman. Also, for what it’s worth I’d like to think it would be possible to have more Justice League cameos in this film even if they were just brief glimpses at the characters. So besides being too fan boy, I have no idea what Burton would have seen in this script to hate it and need it rewritten so severely, unless Burton was keen on making the project entirely his own.

It’s sad that Superman wasn’t filmed. But, it’s exciting that Smith has written a script for Green Hornet which from my understanding is about to be released as a Comic. I’m going to pick that up, and hopefully dive far into the reaches of the DC Universe.


Scooby Doo (Complete Crap)
[X] - Atilla (Poor, Few Redeeming Qualities)
Wedding Crashers (Mediocre)
Hot Rod (Good)
Definitely Maybe (Pretty Darn Good)

Daily Tip: Characters can best be developed in relationship to one another. Superman is perfect until we start to consider his relationship with Lois Lane and all the shortcomings he regards to the rest of Earth’s inhabitants. Luthor is immensely developed until he looks far behind in relationship to Brainiac. The Eradicator is just a robot until he sacrifices himself for Superman. Character is defined by action, and by revealing the way others respond to action, you can craft some great characters.

Isla Prospect: This is the best Lois role yet, and if I was to cast Isla in any Lois role this’d be it. She’s sarcastic, emotionally conflicted, and has a not subservient to Superman role.

Script Link: All over the net. Just Google.

Superman Reborn - Unknown Date (S-Man #4 of 5)

Genre: Action-Comic-Blockbuster

Premise: Superman’s Death is still the focal point. Brainiac is the new villain and destroyer of Krypton. Unable to cope with dual identities, Clark Kent almost has a breakdown. Brainiac unleashes Doomsday, who bleeds Krypton and fights Superman to the death. Superman journeys through the afterlife, and deciding his work on Earth isn’t quite over returns to his body. A now powerless Superman fights Braniac.

About: Gregory Poirier had previously worked with producer, Jon Peters, on Rosewood. It used a previous draft written by John Lemkin (21 Jump Street) and sequentially came right before Kevin Smith's draft. Allegedly, this script reached deadlock because Warners brass had creative differences. I’m going to go out on a limb and suggest that possibly the reason Poirier was dumped for Kevin Smith has to due with the script’s tone, which feels almost completely detached from the Superman atmosphere.

Writer: Gregory Poirier (at this point had written Death Riders, The Stranger, and Rosewood with Jon Voight, also Poirier had written a lot of films for the Adult Industry which included over 40 films for John T. Bone)

Imagine if The Dark Knight didn’t have any action scenes and the Joker wasn’t necessarily all that evil or involved in the plot. You end up with an Existential reflection on what it means to be a Superhero, and the perceived dangers of the occupation. You also end up with a protagonist who for all purposes is unhinged. And, also as one would expect you end up with a film that’s pretty removed from the Batman comics. This is the dilemma of Superman V: Reborn. It’s not really a Superman film. It’s far too heavy and angsty. Now don’t get me wrong, that’s not entirely a bad thing and it’s always a noble attempt to make a popcorn flick meaningful. But, this thing misses the entire point of Superman. He’s a guy who flies and blows stuff up. And that’s about it. And, if you’re going to capture the feel of the comic, making something entirely thematic and character driven may not be the best way to go.

Also, a sigh of relief because Braniac and Doomsday are better than Lex Luthor any day of the week. Of course, they’re not Magneto or The Joker. But they’re weird villains with demented purposes and they’re pretty damn evil. Oh, and they don’t occupy their time on the page like intelligent pricks who are always muttering about how intelligent they are. And while we’re on the subject, there’s a really strong theme here that I don’t think was done enough justice. In the style of Old Testament prophets driven from their homes, Superman comes a place to which he can no longer return and is offered the chance to confront the monster who destroyed his home. This idea alone could fuel a script, but Clark Kent wrestling with dual identities? That’s much less fascinating.

Or, we could look at Kevin Smith, whose quote I just discovered and which pretty much nails down exactly what I’ve been trying to say. “Superman’s angst is not that he doesn’t want to be Superman. If he has any (angst), it’s that he can’t do it all; he can’t do enough and save everyone... Batman is about angst; Superman is about hope.” Needless to say, when Smith was hired onto the project, he completely rewrote the script.

The other thing is, the script reads like a homage to every popular film of the last decade. Superman comes back from the afterlife a karate expert ala The Karate Kid, the aliens take over ala Independence Day, and there’s also a good deal of Batman references. I think ultimately what had happened is that Poirier had written a script without considering what the comic meant or what he was trying to capture. For the Warner Brother executives, this resulted in a script that didn’t have much of an action slant and was also a poor, overly sentimental portrayal of Superman.

Scooby Doo (Complete Crap)
[X] - Atilla (Poor, Few Redeeming Qualities)
Wedding Crashers (Mediocre)
Hot Rod (Good)
Definitely Maybe (Pretty Darn Good)

Daily Tip: Sometimes stories don’t have to be deep. Or, better said, sometimes in revealing a deeper level of emotion to a story what a writer really does is move the piece away from the perceived tone. For example, if you’re writing a Superman script which is about hope and the American Dream, it’s missing up the whole story by revealing a level of emotion about how Clark feels about his dual identities. Or, perhaps, this ties into the lesson that you shouldn’t try to fix something if it isn’t broken.

Isla Prospect: Lois Lane is almost a non-lead in this, so I won’t consider Isla.

Script Link: I have a copy of this. Email me if interested.

Superman Lives (S-Man #3 of 5)

Genre: Action-Comic Book Blockbuster

Premise: Braniac is on the hunt for Kal-el, Superman, after destroying Krypton. Braniac reaches Earth and merges with Lex Luthor to form Lexiac. Lexiac kills Superman with Kryptonite-blooded Doomsday. Superman returns. There is a battle.

About: Tim Burton was to have directed a Superman film in the 90’s with Nick Cage in the title role, but inevitably the studios started pushing him around. Gilroy was hired onto the project to rewrite Wesley Strick (who we ran into briefly while studying the evolution of Batman II/Batman Returns). Gilroy was to bring down the $190 million budget to $100 million. Warners still put the film on hold. And Burton, who had been working on the project for a year, left to do Sleepy Hollow and a bunch of lesser adaptations of films that didn’t need to be modernized in the first place.

Writer: Dan Gilroy (Chasers, Freejack, son of the guy who wrote The Subject Was Roses)

This is the draft that effectively ended the quest to make Superman Lives, which in many cases would mean that the thing isn’t very good at all. I am yet to read Kevin Smith’s script, which is the seed of what Gilroy was rewriting but allegedly (according to The Superman website and Ain’t It Cool News, Smith’s script was better). So I’m going to stay away from a critique of the finer elements of the plot because I’m not sure how much here was Gilroy, how much was Smith, and how much is others and I could potentially end up finding weaknesses in Superman Lives that aren’t Gilroy’s fault or strengths that aren’t his creation either.

There’s one thing this script features that I love, Lexiac. It actually makes Lex Luthor somewhat intimidating, and it makes a decent villain for once in the Superman series. Now, this is an Alan Moore idea initially. (I mean, it’s a good thing from a DC comic, doesn’t that normally mean Moore was involved to some degree?) But, as much as I like Lexiac, there’s problematic stuff with the back story, which is that Superman’s knowledge of the events on Krypton when he was a baby are rewritten. Superman is not supposed to be aware of Braniac or what transpired to lead Superman being raised by the Kents. Now, why is it that DC finds it mandatory to rewrite the character line of their superheroes every few films? Batman is guilty of exactly the same thing. Why do this? Marvel doesn’t do it. X-Men retain the same stories their entire history. Same with The Avengers. It’s frustrating, and further bends logic, when comic book characters have their pasts slightly or entirely altered by the hands of a writer eager to make a good story.
And for the record, I know I’m supposed to suspend reality but how is Superman killed off and resurrected within the course of ten pages? There’s never really a sufficient explanation, and it feels like a lot to process in losing and rediscovering a character.

But there’s a few really awesome things about this script, though, and while the film spins out into a very high budget territory, I don’t necessarily think the script is all that bad. There’s a few cool cameos: including one by Batman. And my favorite part is Superman’s fear of what would happen if he had a baby with Lois Lane. For once, this actually made some real and interesting drama in the Superman series. What if Superman was in love with Lois Lane and wanted to raise a family, but knew deep down he wasn’t normal and that their child may not come out alright? In a way, it’s the same problem Geena Davis experiences in The Fly. Or, the Rosemary’s Baby complex. But, I’ve never seen this done through a male’s perspective before so that’s a cool angle.
The thing is, for a script that was written for a project in the midst of development hell, it’s obvious Superman Lives was not powerful enough to put the film back on line. It’s not bad, but there’s nothing here that’s going to sell Superman on the strength of its film.

Scooby Doo (Complete Crap)
[X] - Atilla (Poor, Few Redeeming Qualities)
Wedding Crashers (Mediocre)
Hot Rod (Good)
Definitely Maybe (Pretty Darn Good)

Daily Tip: Don’t rewrite character’s back stories. Ever. Okay? It’s confusing. It makes us doubt whether we know anything at all. It’s not more interesting either. So here’s an idea, once the audience or the reader has a pretty good idea of how stuff is going to play with it. Once I think I know Superman’s life and how he was raised, don’t switch it up on me. I don’t care if it’d make a good film. It’ll just make me disengage.

Isla Prospect: Lois Lane here isn’t as witty or sarcastic as she is in other ones. She’s still in love with Superman, sure. But this depiction of Lois doesn’t play to Isla’s strength.

Script Link: I have a copy. Email me if interested.

Superman Flyboy (#2 of 5)

Genre: Action

Premise: Finished in July 2002, Abrams’ Superman is an origin story about Krypton’s civil war, Superman’s arrival on Earth, Clark’s romance with Lois Lane. Only Lois is obsessed with revealing Luthor’s quest for UFO artifacts. Superman is killed, visits Jor-El in Kroptonian heaven is trained and succeeds in beating the four evil Kryptonians who have taken over Earth.

About: Brett Ratner signed to direct in September 2002 with filming to start in late 2003. Nobody wanted to sign. Not Josh Hartnett. Not Jude Law. Tony Hopkins to play Lex luthor. And Ralph Fiennes to play Jor-El (both from Ratner’s Red Dragon). Chris Reeves to project consult. Ashton Kutcher also rejected. Needless to say, the process took a long time and before anyone knew it Ratner was off and McG (Charlie’s Angels, Terminator 5) was to direct. Rewrites followed. Eventually, the whole thing ended up Bryan Singer’s lackluster Superman Returns in 2006.

Writer: J.J. Abrams (Regarding Henry, Forever Young, Armaggedon…isn’t that an odd line up? Two deeply personal films and a sci-fi blockbuster?)

The film opens with a very popcorn-driven Superman versus Ty-Zor (here’s a Kryptonian, big evil guy). Superman is then sent to Earth to avoid being killed. This is all really good, but Superman it is not. Of course, the classic scenes of Clark Kent’s youth as similar to how everyone imagines them.

But then it happened, the most head scratching moment of the entire script. Clark’s mom is nearly raped by a landlord who wants to exchange sex for rent so Clark pummels him. What? I reread it twice. Did I really read that? I did. I don’t know what it was doing in a Superman film, but there it was. Then Clark finds the Superman costume, which sucks itself onto his body. Ala Venom. And so it began, I entered a weird place that didn’t feel like the Superman universe and didn’t feel like any world of logic I’d ever seen. It was crazy Superman world.

Luthor once again has little to no moviation. He hates Superman because Lex is fired for pointing out Superman is a threat. And I mean, is that really supposed to suffice for a bad guy? It doesn’t. It’s just some annoying guy Superman has to deal with.

Lois flies with Clark and it’s romantic in a cheesy way. She’s eventually tied to a water tank and Superman having to pass Kryptonite to get there. His powers now gone, Superman still manages to punch a window then dies. How he does this I have no idea without any super powers whatsoever I have no idea. You ever try to punch through glass bare handed? Yeah, that works like a charm. And that’s what Superman is without his powers, just a regular guy like you or me. Krypton totally doesn’t make sense. And speaking of sense, if you were still logically invested to this story by the time we hit the mid point of the second act, stuff gets even crazies.

Superman is trained in the afterlife by a Kryptonian, then battle Lex Luthor who is revealed as another Kryptonian. There’s a dual and Superman wins. Then Superman flies off to Krypton which leaves the whole thing open ended for another segment of the trilogy Abrams had proposed.

Now I understand that logic might not always make sense. But, at the very least in a film about comic books I expect some loyalty to the series. But there isn’t any loyal to the Superman series in this baby. And then, on top of it all, half of the characters either don’t make sense (most of the crazy Kryptonians) or are just plain old boring, Lex Luthor.

Scooby Doo (Complete Crap)
Atilla (Poor, Few Redeeming Qualities)
[X] - Wedding Crashers (Mediocre)
Hot Rod (Good)
Definitely Maybe (Pretty Darn Good)

Daily Tip: I didn’t like this script a whole lot, but it was mediocre because it didn’t bore me. The attempted rape was shocking. The costume thing was a cool visual. And the afterlife/Krypton scenes at the very least entertaining in a way I hadn’t scene before. There’s an old Tennessee Williams quote how he learned early on his career that it was okay for a show to not be brilliant but to never ever bore the audience which means throwing in a gun or something shocking every now and then just to keep the reader invested. Abrams may not do much, but he follows this rule very well.

Isla Prospect: Isla as Lois Lane. Brilliant. Sleek, seductive, witty, sexy. She’d banter with Clark and be swept away by Superman. And the spotlight would be great.

Script Link: I have a copy. Email me if interested.

Superman: The Man of Steel (S-Man #1 of 5)

Genre: Action-Drama

Premise: The Man of Steel tells the origin story of Superman/Clark Kent, plus how he met Lois Lane. It also uses Lex Luthor / Megatello as the bad guys.
About: After the Superman Lives (Kevin Smith was to direct) film fell through in the mid 1990’s, there was a series of Superman scripts written. One of these, Superman: The Man of Steel, was written by comic book aficionado and spec writer, Alex Ford. The film was to be part one of seven, but Warners dropped Ford over creative differences.

Writer: Alex Ford (who, I’ve checked, has no real credits)

Why is Lex Luthor intimidating? I really don’t know. He’s smart. And has a lot of money. Not twisted like The Joker. Not unstoppable as Magneto. Lex is like the Batman of bad guys. Minus the pathos. And a lot of the tension in this script is that Lex is depicted as what’s wrong in the world of Superman. So needless to say, I wasn’t exactly sitting on the edge of my seat to plow through Alex Ford’s script.

The other thing that really slowed down reading Man of Steel is that this script reads like it was written by an amateur. The typeface is slightly too big. The formatting is also a tad bit irregular. And then the dialogue is overly talky (it’s like Ford wants to have these random monologues by every player in the Superman man universe), rambles on too long and then the action is occasionally spliced with random action scenes. If this is Superman count me out.

Now, that being said, I applaud Ford’s intentions. And while Superman isn’t my cup of tea, it probably is a good idea to use several films to capture all the main points of the comics. God knows this would have made the X-Men films amazing. But, really, I don’t get any of this Lex Luthor stuff. Why we would want to see it? Wasn’t this covered in Superman 1 to 4? Does Superman have any other villains? Is anybody else Superman agitated? Why would somebody want to make such a high budget film out of such a mediocre script? Help! Phew. Okay. I’ll calm down.

This script has good points: it seems to have studied Superman’s world, the plot follows some sort of a structure, the story revolves around a couple decent themes of what makes a hero, and there’s definitely room for excellence. Also there’s a Wonder Woman cameo and some references to the Justice league. But, really folks, this is fan fiction that was considered by the industry. And that’s all it.

Also, for most of the film Superman is depowered. Our one great protagonist who is famous for having superpowers now has none. What sense does this make? Really. And the problems? A woman strapped to a bomb. A nuclear reactor ready to blow. And then a brawl with Metallo, bar room style. And there’s never any Lois Lane and Clark Kent interaction beyond Clark whining like a little girl that Lois beat him to the story.

I wanted this review on a bigoted speech by Lex Luthor. “Fifteen hundred cats? What am I supposed to do with fifteen hundred cats? If I were in Korea I'd open a delicatessen but I'm not. I'm in Metropolis where fifteen hundred cats are useless to me. I want something better. Dogs, monkeys, French-speaking gorillas. Impress me.”

Impress me, Alex Ford did not.

Scooby Doo (Complete Crap)

[X] - Atilla (Poor, Few Redeeming Qualities)

Wedding Crashers (Mediocre)

Hot Rod (Good)

Definitely Maybe (Pretty Darn Good)

Daily Tip: Sometimes, screenwriters attempt to tackle subjects that are too expansive for one script. Alex Ford’s Superman isn’t content with one small word, or a segment of one line of the Superman series. Rather, Ford tries to capture all of DC’s Superman series in the confines of this script. And, the script ends up just lacking a strong central thread.

Isla Prospect: Lois Lane is obviously the main Superman female, but she’s not that great in this one. So I’m not going to compare Isla to this possible role.

Script Link: I have a copy. Email me if interested.

Superman Week!

I love comics so I’ve read a good deal of them. And I’ve already done a fair number of comic book based reviews on Hunting for Isla Fisher. But, for the most part my comic expertise spreads to Batman and X-Men. One of the comics I’ve hardly ever (and I mean hardly, maybe just two issues) is surprisingly enough, Superman. I just never got Superman. Didn’t get the mythos or the fan following. So I thought I could give an interesting critique about the history of Superman scripts starting with some unproduced scripts, then highlighting a couple of the produced films. I’ll be commenting on the story line in general, and trying to highlight what I just don’t get about the Superman series.

Old Boy (Ghost #5 of 5)

Genre: Drama with Promises of Action that are never quite met

Premise: A man is mysteriously kidnapped and imprisoned for 15 years in a cell without any explanation. Then he is released. Armed with money and a cell phone. He seeks revenge for his torture, but soon finds his kidnappers aren’t yet finished with him.

About: Dreamworks secured the rights to the project. For a time, Spielberg and Will Smith discussed tackling the film. The reason for the projects delay appears to be Spielberg still has the script in development (which probably suggests he likes the script but isn’t ready to commit just yet). This script was written before these two became attached, and turned the Korean story into a Los Angeles nightmare. (Is Los Angeles nightmare redundant? I’m not sure.)

Writer: Ernesto M Foranda (Better Luck Tomorrow, doesn’t seem to have any other big credits) and Fabian Marquez (also just Better Luck Tomorrow, and something called Johnny Flynton) based on the movie by Chan-wook Park (the “Vengeance” trilogy)

I’ve read a few good scripts on Hunting for Isla. Many bad ones. But this Old Boy script is the best thing I’ve reviewed so far. Now I know it’s just a descendant of the Korean masterpiece (which I had never read in script form), but Old Boy is bar none hands down the best script I’ve reviewed so far on Hunting for Isla Fisher. Now Joe, you may be thinking, that’s an awfully big boast to make. Let me explain.

The idea of being locked up for fifteen years is terrifying. But the script doesn’t depict this as naturally a horrifying period of captivity. Rather, there’s a quiet, unsympathetic approach to this man’s suffering. And that’s a lot of the reason why Old Boy is scary. It’s not in the reveal, it’s in the depth and the approach. In a lot of ways, this whole thing reminded me of a Greek tragedy set in modern times. And elevates the captive to mythic levels. So I know, I know, some of you are going to say Old Boy isn’t really a ghost story. But, I’d argue that the captive at the end of his fifteen years is more ghost like than human. And like ghosts who stick to the Earth, this guy is obsessed with answering some questions about his life on the planet.

Now, the other thing Old Boy gets right which very easily could have turned this whole film into a crap fest is the reason why the captive was locked up. Rather than taking a cheesy or unnecessarily violent turn, the reason the captive is locked up has to do with a secret that rocks the whole world of characters. (Albeit, it’s a turn you see in a lot of movies with these types of secrets. But an effective one nonetheless).

Even more interestingly I don’t necessarily know if I was a big fan of the script’s plot in so much as I was a fan of the tone and the way the protagonist was depicted as a lonely, deranged hell bent wanderer. Not since Taxi Driver have I read something that leapt off the page with such ferocity. And that’s amazing because I spent a good part of the week discussing how rarely someone capture the ghost-like tone in a screenplay.

There’s this clown movie, Vulgar, which explores a similar idea using much less noble tactics. By the time the film ends, it’s erupted into little more than a shoot out with a guy and his captors. Then, there’s films like Deliverance and Prime Cut where the captors seek revenge but aren’t really traumatized. Then there’s Cast Away where the Tom Hanks is left where Old Boy starts: a man who has spent many years in captivity trying to make sense of his world. Old Boy makes good on what Cast Away should have done: how one lives with these God awful memories and readjusts to their world after years in the wilderness. Of course, Cast Away would probably have had some great product placement among this character development, but still. Old Boy takes the cake.

Scooby Doo (Complete Crap)
Atilla (Poor, Few Redeeming Qualities)
Wedding Crashers (Mediocre)
Hot Rod (Good)
[X] - Definitely Maybe (Pretty Darn Good)

Daily Tip: There are many scripts that managed to beat (or at least tackle) the slowness of the second act’s second half by revealing a groundbreaking secret. Now there are catches to this (the secret has to be revealed as something that ties into the story, among other things). But, if done correctly, the revelation of a shocking truth in a script that causes a reader to reevaluate everyone involved goes a long way to a good middle act.

Isla Prospect: There really isn’t a big female role in this thing. So no Isla turns today.
Script Link: I have a copy. Email me if interested.